Saturday, January 16, 2010

As parents we are all prone to those nights of absolute sleeplessness. We are working on a full week of it. I am exhausted, J is on the verge of a freakout and SG is the same sleep fighting little kid that we brought home from the hospital.
When we brought her home we knew we wanted to cosleep; at least I did. For J it was a more of "I don't care, I just want to sleep" and for me I just wanted her near.
I don't regret our cosleeping at all but I do regret that there is no way for her to fall asleep without someone next to her and with her allllllllllll night long, all nap long all the freakin' time.
Maybe we are just experiencing severe cosleeping burnout. She wants to sleep in her room, in her bed but with me. And won't let me get up. I think I am just frustrated with the inability to even get up from the bed during naptime, to go pee or get a drink or just get out of the damn bed. I know we are not the only cosleepers who've gone through this but I feel like survival is all we are doing.
Because of J's work schedule he is gone M-Th 7:30am-10pm and then a work day Friday. So it's just me with SG for all those hours, all those hours of sleep. And I know a lot of it is my fault, because naps are just easier if I sit in bed with her, she'll nap a full nap. And let's face it, when it's bedtime I usually just fall asleep with her, then wake up and read/knit/watch a dvd on my laptop. It's pathetic. I am chained to my bed with this kiddo.
Last night was just miserable. SG was up just screaming for a few hours, throwing tantrums, and didn't want either of us.
Then like a fool this morning, just to get out and away I went for a run. It was absolutely bitter, the wind felt like it was going to rip my skin apart. Plus I still have a cold so I kept having to stop and blow my nose. SIGH.
There is a half marathon (13miles) here at the end of May that I kinda want to plan on doing. But I'm not sure I'd be ready, though I do have a 12 week training program. The problem is I've taken the last 2 months off because of serious leg issues, so I'm not sure gearing up for a marathon is the smartest thing to do. I'd be starting back at the beginning; I just wish I could get my hands on a treadmill to run on when it's so darn bitter out.
I have to get my heiny to the post office before it closes, but I don't want to leave my house or my coffee.


  1. It is not your fault, she just may not be ready or feel secure enough to be alone yet. Sleep training is just that, teaching kids to not need their parents based on the need of a parent not a kid. Same with CIO, the kid learns a parent will not come so don't cry. It won't be like this forever.

    I usually stay with Kennedy once she falls asleep, I have just tried to change my mindset to make it a time I look forward too rather than a chore.

  2. I can't really comment on the co-sleeping part, but e-mail me the information for this half-marathon. If my schedule would allow it, we should consider it.

  3. Thanks Sarah :) I know a lot of it is security because she's never away from me when she's sleeping, but it's just draining me out. I am just exhausted yk?
    Does K let you get up though? Like can you put her to bed and then get up and have time to yourself and to see J?
    J and I will go a full week without seeing each other. It's just tough when there is no break from her. I try to tell myself to enjoy it, hold onto it bc she's only little once but I am just so frustrated :(.

    Will do D. It's the Memorial Day Marathon, I just read about it I think in runners world.
    If we sign up that would be total motivation :)