Tuesday, February 23, 2010

From The Simple Woman's Daybook
Outside my window...a doldrum of grey! at least it's mild out
I am thinking...what a great day today has been
I am thankful for...the delicious chai tea I had at lunch
From the kitchen...thinking about brewing up some tea
I am wearing...yoga pants, tank top
I am creating...butterflies for the kiddo's room
I am going...to see my gf tomorrow who just had her 2nd baby!
I am reading...Dr.Sears Discipline Book
I am hoping...J starts to get job call backs
I am hearing...pooh bear
Around the house...wooden blocks everywhere!
One of my favorite things...about today has been SG's sweet disposition
A few plans for the rest of the week: visiting the new baby tomorrow, gym class, then hopefully seeing another gf who's due in about 8 weeks!
Here is picture for thought I am sharing
My sweet silly girl

Thursday, February 18, 2010

why is it when i get in a group of my peers/other moms i completely shut down?

*seed for a blog*didn't want to forget it*

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Today was the first day I'd gotten out of the house in a week. A week!!!! Ugh!
Last Thursday SG was hit with the tummy flu, it honestly wasn't that bad compared to the last (only) time she'd had it. Maybe because this time around I knew what to do to keep her hydrated etc. But man oh man did J and I get it. I felt fine on Friday, a little run down but fine. Then I started to feel ill that afternoon and by the time he came home from work I was ready for bed. So he stayed with SG so I could rest. I ended up laying in bed, watching Weeds, going back and forth between tummy sick and other sick for quite some time. Poor SG wanted nothing more than to come sleep in mommy's bed either, and I felt so bad telling J to just tell her no that she had to sleep in her bed. But I just felt so sick I didn't want her in with me. But that didn't last. I was sick then she woke up and came into our bed. Thank You GOD (seriously!) she slept all night like a rock between the two of us who keep waking up every hour to get sick or with a fever or because it hurt to lay down. My poor poor J, I have never ever seen him get sick like that.
The next morning was hard because SG was feeling much much better and was running around, shrieking, jumping-normal two year old things. But I felt like (I'm sure J did too) that I had a blinding migraine, mixed with nausea, dizziness, weakness, joint pain. And a toddler was just rough to handle. But we did for most of the day. We all napped on and off; again thank You God for SG sleeping! But by 4 we knew we weren't going to be able to pull it off another night. My parents had offered to take her, but we said no because we didn't want them getting this bug! But we had to. So they picked her up for us (blessing!) and I slept from 4pm-11:30pm!!! I finally showered then went back to bed around 2am until 10am the next day.
I think if we hadn't had that night of deep deep sleep and rest we would have been done for. Then my parents offered to take her another night! It was truly wonderful of them and it really did help.
I felt bad that J had to go back to work on Monday while I slept more but what can you do?

But yes, today I got out of the house! It was fantastic. I don't think I've ever been happier to go to the mall :) We went to the carousel, had lunch, walked around, had a mrs. fields cookie-gah! It was so very nice to get out, to get dressed, to drive! Such daily things are so easily taken for granted.

I love little trips with SG. I love any little time with her that I can make silly or special or something simple that just makes her happy. Even if it means a big sugar cookie right before naptime! I love how observant she is, I love how she is constantly pulling me down to her level to show me the world through her eyes. I love the constant amazement at the things around her. The sparkling lights that make her gleeful or ballons or seeing other little kids. I am grateful for the lightness she brings to my heart.

Monday, February 15, 2010

From The Simple Woman's Daybook

Outside my window...it is grey again
I am thinking...about the mass amount of laundry to finish/put away
I am thankful for...the fact our bout with the flu seems to be over
From the kitchen...nothing-i haven't really eaten since friday thanks to the flu
I am wearing...yoga pants, long red sleeve, wool sweater
I am creating...quiet time for myself
I am going...nowhere today because I don't feel up for driving
I am reading...nothing! I really need to pick up a book
I am hoping...that we can have our Valentine's celebration in a few weekends
I am hearing...the heat click on and off and the dog snoring
Around the house...are valentine's knickknacks everywhere!
One of my favorite things...scarves
A few plans for the rest of the week: hoping to be feeling better by tomorrow, then grocery shopping (thrilling) gymnastics, music class
Here is picture for thought I am sharing
I haven't touched my camera in a week. boo.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

From The Simple Woman's Daybook

Outside my window...it is overcast and dismal
I am thinking...about sewing projects
I am thankful for...the joy SG brings
From the kitchen...nothing yet! I do need to figure out dinner though
I am wearing...jeans, a green tank top with a green tshirt
I am creating...stars for little's room
I am going...to be picking up J from work soon
I am reading...re-reading Pride and Prejudice when I think about it
I am hoping...that this weekend is fun
I am hearing...sublime
Around the house...are toys that I keep tripping over!
One of my favorite things...sharing cookies with SG
A few plans for the rest of the week: gymnastics class tomorrow, music friday!
Here is picture for thought I am sharing
I don't have one currently!

Monday, February 8, 2010

Currently working on these little bitty stars to hang up in SG's room. They aren't so bad once you get started but each one takes me maybe 30min or so. I think, I'm trying not to watch the clock while I do them! I'm hoping to get some more fabric and make all different colors but this is what I had on hand from Valentine's day projects.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Today the bitter cold air came back. With big soft floaty snow flakes. They were beautiful. But to me everything on Sundays is beautiful. I love Sundays more than any other day of the week. There is a quiet peace to the day. The sleepiness that settles into the day, the slow movement of the clock, the cups of coffee, the snuggly babe, the cold nosed dog. I love everything about our Sundays. It is always without question the guaranteed day that J is home all day long. It is a quiet day. Today we hung out in our jammies until 2 or so. J made breakfast. I didn't cook one meal today! I don't think that's ever happened! I crafted. J and S made a diorama of an aquarium. We stayed in all day together. It was so completely what we needed.

Why I love our Sundays
*Big mugs of coffee that are enjoyed leisurely
*Sufjan Stevens and Iron&Wine on Pandora
*Family naptime in our big king bed
*Long hot showers without a toddler
*J is home so I can shower, read, clean, cook, craft without tripping over a little
*The streaming sunshine that pours into our front room casting heart shadows
*Breakfast for dinner :)
*Feeling like there is no place in the world I'd rather be

Here's some pictures of what I made today

Hearts for SG's bedroom door


Love on a string

Tutu for SG

It has been a good day

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

My brain hurts

Last week was a rough week. It literally felt like something was off with the planets, something kept dragging at me, pulling on me, making me feel itchy and stifled. It didn't help that this also seemed to be effecting the kiddo; so her and I felt like we were at odds all week. By Thursday when she threw a huge tantrum at her gym class, I felt like I'd had it. I was so embarrassed and I instantly feel like everyone is staring at me, criticizing me that I just shut down and want to cry. So I did. I got her out of the classroom and made it to the truck. I burst into tears and sobbed for a good 10 minutes in the parking lot. S was crying too, which made it all that much worse. I cried the whole car ride home, and for a bit after that. I think that was just the catalyst to get everything moving that needed to come out.

After thinking on the situation pretty much non-stop I realized that I can only do what I can, and that certain expectation of a 2 year old are just impossible.

I am praying that this week is much better than last. I did have a break, S went to my parents Friday night til Saturday, my brother in law was down here Sat-Sun and S LOVES him so they were happily occupied.

I need to work much harder on being patient. Because S instantly reflects my impatience with her own. Which is just no good! It's hard because I have absolutely no patience, for just about anything. I never have, and it's killing me to constantly be challenged by this little one.

Every single day I pray. I pray mostly that we will get some sort of financial break, or relief. Because I feel like if we keep going at this rate of J working pretty much nonstop 8am-10pm everyday we are going to explode. I feel the burnout all the time, between us, for him, with him. We are both exhausted by finances. It's rough because I don't want to complain because we could have it much much worse, but I am always alone with S and he is always working. We lack serious balance. I pray that he can find a job where he only has to work one job. I pray for normal hours so he can actually see S. Mainly I just want him to be around so we can be together, so I don't feel like I'm parenting by myself, so S stops crying/asking for him all day long.

I am so ready for winter to be over. For spring to come, for mud, for flowers, for sunlight, for S to play outside and stop climbing the walls of our house.