The smell of the earth, hyacinths, mud. The warm air with cool humidity that floats on your skin. The sound of squish. The puddles. The random beautiful sunbursts that filter down unexpectedly. The mud on S's bottom as she plays around the yard. The freckles of dirt that spatter the dogs belly from romping through the yard. I love how quiet it makes everything. Everyone is so happy to be outside in this little siesta from the rain. But most of all I love the smells. To me that is what spring is all about. After being cooped up all winter, the smells of spring always amaze me. Throwing open windows, doors and letting it all in. I relish in the dirt. I dream about gardens to plant, landscaping to do...what plants our dog won't eat :) I sit and watch our only child learn and explore the world. Spring reminds me how good it is to start new, bring new faith into your life, to look at the tiny moments of beauty that happen all day long whether we acknowledge them or not.
I have started running again. Taking it very slowly as not to injure my leg again. Luckily my parents gave us their treadmill and they took our elliptical. I just prefer the motion of running to anything else. I like the mental peace. The powerful feeling I get from my body being in motion. Even if it's just a small run to get me back in the saddle, I never fail to feel completely empowered from a run. I feel completely confident, amazing, even beautiful post run...dripping in sweat and stinky as can be.
I want to try to give up all the things that I have been afraid of. I have been doing fairly well even with minor tasks. Like for years DH has wanted me to go bowling with him, but I never wanted to. Always afraid I wouldn't like it, I'd get sweaty in public, people would see how bad I suck lol. But I went. And I actually liked it. I'm not saying I will go again anytime soon but I am proud that I went. I think I hold onto and have to control absolutely everything to a very unhealthy point. I want to break free of this. Last year I really worked on getting myself healthier weight-wise, exercise-wise; now it's time to work on the mental health (and still some bad food habits) My goal is by the end of the yard to be off of all dairy and wheat products. I think if I can eliminate those 2 biggies my body would feel, look, and be a lot healthier than it currently is. I still have a 20-30lb weight loss goal that I want to accomplish this year as well. Now that I know we aren't going to be having another baby, it's easier for me to get in the mode of loosing it. Before I just thought why would I when I'm just going to get pg and have to start all over again. I think without that I finally feel free.