Thursday, April 8, 2010

Why I love a warm, wet spring day

The smell of the earth, hyacinths, mud. The warm air with cool humidity that floats on your skin. The sound of squish. The puddles. The random beautiful sunbursts that filter down unexpectedly. The mud on S's bottom as she plays around the yard. The freckles of dirt that spatter the dogs belly from romping through the yard. I love how quiet it makes everything. Everyone is so happy to be outside in this little siesta from the rain. But most of all I love the smells. To me that is what spring is all about. After being cooped up all winter, the smells of spring always amaze me. Throwing open windows, doors and letting it all in. I relish in the dirt. I dream about gardens to plant, landscaping to do...what plants our dog won't eat :) I sit and watch our only child learn and explore the world. Spring reminds me how good it is to start new, bring new faith into your life, to look at the tiny moments of beauty that happen all day long whether we acknowledge them or not.

I have started running again. Taking it very slowly as not to injure my leg again. Luckily my parents gave us their treadmill and they took our elliptical. I just prefer the motion of running to anything else. I like the mental peace. The powerful feeling I get from my body being in motion. Even if it's just a small run to get me back in the saddle, I never fail to feel completely empowered from a run. I feel completely confident, amazing, even beautiful post run...dripping in sweat and stinky as can be.

I want to try to give up all the things that I have been afraid of. I have been doing fairly well even with minor tasks. Like for years DH has wanted me to go bowling with him, but I never wanted to. Always afraid I wouldn't like it, I'd get sweaty in public, people would see how bad I suck lol. But I went. And I actually liked it. I'm not saying I will go again anytime soon but I am proud that I went. I think I hold onto and have to control absolutely everything to a very unhealthy point. I want to break free of this. Last year I really worked on getting myself healthier weight-wise, exercise-wise; now it's time to work on the mental health (and still some bad food habits) My goal is by the end of the yard to be off of all dairy and wheat products. I think if I can eliminate those 2 biggies my body would feel, look, and be a lot healthier than it currently is. I still have a 20-30lb weight loss goal that I want to accomplish this year as well. Now that I know we aren't going to be having another baby, it's easier for me to get in the mode of loosing it. Before I just thought why would I when I'm just going to get pg and have to start all over again. I think without that I finally feel free.

4 comments:

  1. woah that is a big goal. I pray you will accomplish it!

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  2. Thank you! Last year I lost about 30lbs so now I just have even more to get off! And with wheat and dairy, I have horrible skin reactions to both but LOVE them and really struggle to give them up even though I know they are horrible for me!

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  3. What happened with trying to have a baby? I guess I'm behind. But it sounds like you're at peace with it. <3
    I've thought about eliminating dairy but while I'm nursing my body craves it. I think once I wean I'll try to take that jump.
    I really wish we had a treadmill. I love running as well when I get to do it, but I don't always have the chance with the kiddos.
    I'm thinking of you! I hope you can accomplish all your goals..

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  4. We decided against it...things are just so good now with just S. J is going back to school in the fall for the next 4 years so he'll be pretty busy. I have been alone with S for most of her life bc J was working 60+hours a week and I don't want that with another baby. I am pretty happy with it and I've had to wrap my head around the idea that all my babies don't have to be right in a row, or even that we have to have another. J just quit his 2nd job so he's finally around and I really just want time to the 3 of us.

    I love the 'mill. It's the absolute perfect thing to do once S is in bed or early in the morning when she watches george for 30min.

    How are you doing with your goals? I hope all is well for you!

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